During the week, I go to sleep very early. Normally, I’m out cold by ten p.m. The Hubby’s work day is much later then mine, so I am his alarm clock every morning. The problem is that I am at work while I wake him up. Yet, I still have these conversations.
Me: “What time did you go to sleep?”
The Hubby: “Not to late. I was lying on your boobs.”
Me: “When did you do that?”
The Hubby: “When I was petting your vagina.”
Me: When did you pet my vagina?”
The Hubby: “While you were sleeping. Do you feel violated?”
The Hubby: “Oh please, you like that shit.”
Me: “Shame on you. You molested me.”
Later on in the day….
The Hubby is singing Love Hurts.
Me: “Please stop.”
The Hubby: “Love Hurts…”
Me: “You know what hurts, your singing.”
The Hubby: “Maybe you don’t have the right ears for my singing.”
5 minutes later…
The Hubby: “Imma make you choke and then stick it in your hoo haa.”
Me: “No thank you to the gagging. I’ll pass.”
The Hubby starts to mimick me during sex…
The Hubby: “Oh God!”
Me: “Shut up.”
The Hubby: “Oh God is what you say when you get rammed.”